Have you purposefully got clear on the kind of love that you want?

If you are not clear on what you want and what you don't want, then it will you are leaving you happiness up to random chance. How do you think that will work out? Probably not the way you hope or expect. 

Are you Single? 

One evening give yourself an hour, splurge and pour a glass of an incredible wine, light some candles, dim the lights and have a date night with yourself. 

In a relationship? 

Have a date night to design the kind of love you want together. Make it beautiful and romantic. This is one of the best gifts you can give to yourself. 

What to do ...

Grab a journal and start listing the things you don't want and then make separate list of what you do want. If you get stuck, look at the list of what you don't want and ask yourself, "What is the opposite of (insert trait) 'lazy couch potato'. Your answer will be something like. "I want a man who is healthy and strong who likes to go the vineyard with me as much as he likes to watch sports."

After you have made a list of what you do want, then rewrite it as a vision statement like I have below. Then read it regularly. Post it somewhere that you will see it often. As time goes on, edit it if you think of new details. 

For couples, compare your notes. Write your own vision statement and then write a joint vision statement. 

Any time you find yourself on a rocky road in your relationship, you can use this vision statement as a reminder and a guide to get you back on track. 

If your man is not excited to do this with you, ask him to do it for you. Softly and lovingly, tell him that it is important to you to give this a shot. Men want to be the hero, so build him up by saying something like, "Honey, only real men are strong enough, present enough and believe their relationship is worth a date night doing this together. I believe you are that kind of man." Then offer him a reward for making this such a beautiful night for you. A special dinner and dessert. You can choose if the dessert is in or out of the bedroom .. or both. ;)

Below is the vision statement I wrote a few years ago. As a single guy, it has helped me be clear on the kind of woman and relationship that I am looking for and avoid people who are not aligned with my vision. This I believe, she is worth waiting for. There is no shame in being clear on what you want and being single until you find it. It will be worth the wait ... right? 

THIS IS THE KIND OF LOVE THAT I WANT ...

I want a relationship that brings us to a higher level. A lover who is also my best friend. When we make love, we become one and time will stop. Someone to travel the world, play together, act silly, experience life, and create magical moments. Someone that I can laugh with, laugh at, and be laughed at with love. Someone that I can build with, create with, get real with, go deep with and feel safe with. Somebody who plays to win in life and loves without restraint. I want a partner I can share my thoughts, my fears, my dreams and my fantasies. I want somebody to fall in love with every day. That is the kind of love I want.
 

© Croix Sather

What do you think? 

Is this the kind of love that you want?

If not, what kind of love do you want? 

Add to the discussion. 

Love it or hate it? ... share it!